all mine

since i haven’t been writing in this blog for a long time, i suppose no one’s going to read this one now.  i have nothing to do! i’ve been an official bum for about a month now.  i don’t know, it just feels weird reading my old posts. it seems like i wrote those entries just yesterday. i’m missing school already. the bad news is, i’m not coming back this june. being a recent graduate(for the unemployed like me) is like being in limbo. it’s as if i’m floating in this sea of uncertainty. i’m beginning to worry about not having a job. the future i have been planning all these years might need more tweaking than expected. i hate feeling unsure. i had a realization some days ago that at least in school everyone has an idea of what to do in order to be good at it. Students just need to study. But in the post-college world, it’s much much more different. I still haven’t figured out the real formula for success. during my 18th year of study, i thought that i had learned everything that i needed. now that i’m out of it, i feel like i don’t know anything. arrrgh, is this normal?! this "stage" is freaking me out. i wish, just like before, that i could fast forward time just a little bit to see if there’s something good out there for me. i need it real soon!!!

ok, so i panicked. last friday, i went to school early to have my thesis write-up checked by my adviser. as usual, i had to edit a lot of stuff because there was always something lacking. anyway, that afternoon, i went to the library to meet up with my classmates only to come across with many 5th year thesis-ers. all of them seemed busy hoarding books and typing in their laptops. i was surprised that many of them were already starting their rrl’s. i didn’t know if my pace was slow or i was just unable to proceed to the next part of the write-up because of the many times i had to edit my proposal. so what happened was, i ended up borrowing 4 books (1 was hardbound and the other was more than an inch thick).

surprise! surprise! we had a pop quiz! i was still problematic about my thesis write-up and the last thing i wanted then was to concentrate on beams and columns computations. my mind went blank. the 45-minute test seemed longer. i was so paranoid because i wasn’t even able to come close to having some decent answers. i’m sure i’m failing. well at least i wasn’t the only one flunking.

since everything bad happened last friday (except for hs musical:D), i decided to start getting serious about my thesis and other academics. afterall, summer really is over. i was able to finish all the editing yesterday and today, i was able to finish 5 rrl’s! yey!

ok so classes have started. having a 4pm class still confuses me. i’m not sure if it’s good that i don’t have to wake up early in the morning or bad because i have to commute for 2 hours a day just to go to school. the non-existent 5th year life is slowly getting into my system. it seems like i’m not seeing a lot of people that look familiar lately. our exposure to the rest of the college’s population is only limited to the time we walk from the gate of the school to our building, the short wait for an elevator in the lobby, the 30 minute break in between classes and again, the walk home at the end of each day. would anyone get the hang of all this? being in school for a maximum period of 5 hours is something we’ve never had before. having that, i opted to give up "dorm-ing" and ride the carpool everyday. i’m beginning to miss having a place near school where i could always run to whenever. i’m also missing our late dinners, the chitchats-until-the-guards-turn-off-the-lights-of-the-school and long walks traversed going back to the dorm. life as the senior of a senior is definitely different. at the moment, i still haven’t decided if i’m liking it or not.

yesterday night, at around 10:00, my sister suddenly went hysterical as she ran outside the house. she saw something that made her scream for my dad. apparently, a blue/green crv hit the back of our crosswind while maneuvering a 2-point turn. the car stopped for a while until my sister came out and then just took off. my sister looked at the damage until she realized that we have been a victimized of hit and run. she called the security guards to report the incident and told them to stop the blue/green crv. badly enough, of all the eyewitnesses who were present outside, none seemed to have taken hold of the car’s plate number. anyway, the security called our house after a few minutes only to infuriate my sister because they told her that they did see a blue/green crv leaving but failed to stop to car because they weren’t sure if it was the one. legally speaking, i know that the guards did the right thing because they had no evidence whatsoever that would prove that the car that left the village was the blue/green car my sister was pertaining to. although the damage was relatively small, it was still the fault of the "girl-with-a-guy" driver. me, my mom and dad were quick to shrug off the incident, thinking that there was nothing else to do. personally, i didn’t want to make myself feel more irritated, knowing that we already did what we had to do although it obviously wasn’t enough. what could have been in the head of that "girl-with-a-guy" driver, i really don’t know. maybe she got scared. maybe she had thought that no one had seen her. or maybe, she was simply too dense to care and was running away. anyway, i believe in karma.  what goes around, comes  around. 

"revolt against corruption and poverty!" -joseph estrada

i’m still trying to think if it just sounds weird or plainly ironic. hmmmm…

while watching an episode of my all-time favorite tv show, globe trekker, i remembered my first visit to the big A. that was 6 years ago, just 4 months before the world trade twin towers were attacked. thank God i had the chance to visit it before it even collapsed. anyway, during that time, before we even flew there, i had really no idea where we were going. i don’t remember knowing anything about new york. i didn’t know that they have the central park, the famous yellow cab, or even the "collection" of peoples and cultures that new york is all about. i simply didn’t know anything much back then. i remember thinking that going to the states would finally allow me see what i’d always pictured it to be, -rows of big 7th heaven-ish suburban houses with all white people walking and playing everywhere. it was all different when i got there. the city was definitely busy and alive! it was so different that i had to experience it before i could understand.  after the two month stay there, i still didn’t get much of the city. maybe it’s because new york isn’t really for the kids. i guess it is best enjoyed by people who have gone past their adolesence and have matured a little. or maybe it’s just me.

anyway, i just wanted to share how naive i was when i was in 2nd year hs. haha!:D

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i saw this new show in etc, house of carters. is it weird to like it? anyway, i also saw the commercial of the search for the next doll and had a good laugh out of it. the naughty side of my brain thought of other probable titles for the show. why didn’t they call it the search for the next P****? haha!:D

nothing to do? watch the mac commercials!
http://www.apple.com/getamac/ads/
hilarious!

i’ve been bragging to my friends that since the summer started, i haven’t had any single boring moment alone. my social life seems to be enjoying an all time high. i had outings here and there, holy week trips with the family and friends, countless errands around the city and i just have enough things to look forward to to be content and think that a day without anything to do is just rest time from all the activities i’ve been up to.  i told my friend a while a go that tomorrow might just be the start of my boring-nothing-to-do-summer-days when i remembered just now that i’m going to nueva ecija for the weekend because my ex-dormate invited me to attend the baptism of his baby. i also have a lot of preparation and self-coaching to do because this week, i might go on…(i will complete this sentence when and if it comes true. and no aissa, it’s not about pbb. haha!:D).

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the heat is on. literally.
our tropical, non-airconditioned, bungalow house just can’t cope up  with the  tremendous heat the country is experiencing at the moment.  taking a bath twice is just not enough! i wish i could eat halo halo or ice cream or jona’s mango shake at this very moment. thanks to my allergy-prone throat, those things are banned for me at the moment. sigh…

i got my clearance yesterday and i still don’t have a grade in design.
anyway, i went to my professor’s office to get my thesis paper which i passed before classes ended and i was surprised to see the comment he wrote. written in bold, all caps, blue ink: "mr, 5th year ka na letter composition lang di mo alam!" hmmm… was i supposed to be offended?! i didn’t take it much seriously because i knew that i know my letter composition and that he is mistaken to think that i don’t. it’s just weird to see something as bad as this written by someone i think highly of.